Quotes and Jokes 1
Humour in uniform
A general walked into an elevator at our base that was occupied by a specialist, a junior enlisted rank in the US Army. “What are you doing to prepare for your deployment to Afghanistan, specialist?” asked the general.
Flustered the general simply shrugged.
This didn’t flush well with the general. He went to the officer in charge and demanded to know why his soldiers seemed unprepared. The officer assembled his staff in an attempt to figure out the problem, and soon we all received this memo: “As of today specialist are no longer allowed to take the elevator”
Our drill inspector was at the end of his rope: An airman’s ineptitude was driving him crazy. Getting in the air man’s face, he demanded, “Whoever told you to join the Air Force?!”
Snapping the attention, the airman proclaimed, ” The Navy recruiter Sir.”
When our ship stopped in the Atlantic ocean for a “swim call,” the chief boatswain noticed how nervous I was “Don’t worry,” he assured me “You are never more than five kilometers from the land.” Then he added
A classic we love
Few civilians know what a quartermaster does. So during my aircraft carrier’s Family Day, I demonstrated a procedure called semaphore – I grabbed my flags and signaled an imaginary ship. Then I asked a little girl, ” Now do you know what I do?” She said, “you” decentre a cheerleader”
The world does not deliver meaning to you. You have to make it meaningful… and decide what you want and need and must do.
Faidoesn’till you. It increases your desire to make something happen.
Optimist: Someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s a cha-cha.
You have to create the quiet to be able to listen to the very faint voice of your intuition
Just because you’re nervous doesn’t mean you have to look nervous. Nobody can look inside you. Project what you want to project.
People aren’t either wicked or noble. They are like chef’s salads, with good things and bad things, chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.