Monthly jokes and facts
The innocent wife
Wife calls her scientist husband
“Honey it’s Saturday your late”
“I am busy with my team in an experiment”
“What is that”
“We have just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambient temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now waiting for some protein; we are fumigating the lab with vapors of nicotine….
It’s 4 or 5 round experiment so I will be late.”
“Oh dear, I won’t disturb you. Take your time”.
Height of problem
Wife: Doing her makeup early morning out of bed
Husband: Are you crazy!
Wife: Just shut up I got to unlock my phone it’s not recognizing me.
Earlier: Don’t use mobile phones in petrol pumps. It will cause an explosion.
Now: Pay at petrol pumps using mobile. Nation has suddenly become fireproof
One who smiles rather than rages is always stronger
Some good practices to keep your money safe
- Make two bank accounts
- Primary account and secondary account
- Keep all your account in primary account and never use it for online transaction
- never use the primary debit card anywhere
- Use the secondary account for all the spending and withdrawing money from ATM
- Transfer money from primary account when needed and keep balance under Rs 10000
- Use credit cards as much as possible because the liability is on the banks. Debit card means your money is gone. In credit card payments banks can delay or revert the fraudulent payment but not in the case of debit card payment. So the credit card is safer for transactions. If you aren’t earning a handsome salary or have a bad credit score just put an FD of 25000 and get a credit card with it. Never use your debit card for online shopping or at POS terminals.
- Get a safer chip-based card. A duplicate copy of magnetic card can be made in minutes, chip-based cards cannot be copied easily.
- Never let your card out of your sight when paying in some restaurant, ask them to bring the POS machine to you or you go yourself go to the machine. Also, grab the receipt check and tear.
- Always hide the keypad. Those machines that swipe that card have walls to hide your fingers so that no one can see what you’re typing, that isn’t adequate, cover the top of your hand as well. Don’t punch in the numbers by making a fist and taking the index fingers out. Instead type like a person playing piano, i.e: all four fingers resting or hovering over the keypad.
- Always go and inspect the ATM thoroughly. It hardly takes 15-20 seconds to ensure there’s no skimmer in the slot, no camera or device watching your pin etc. The people behind you can wait.
- Always tear up ATM receipts into pieces before you throw them into a dustbin.
- Never display or show off with the money you just got from the ATM. When the machine gives you cash, count and put the cash into your wallet or purse while being in the ATM itself.
The doctor asked me to spend at least one hour per day on the treadmill.
Sardar comes back to his car and finds a note saying “Parking fine”. He writes a note and sticks it to the pole ” Thanks for the compliment”
Did you know
If your hair is straw-like, cannot be combed, and won’t lie flat, you may have ‘uncombable hair syndrome’. Also called ‘spun glass hair’, it’s a rare hair shaft disorder that causes dry, shiny, and extremely frizzy hair. When examining strands under a microscope, straight hairs are round, curly hairs are oblique, but uncombable hairs are heart-shaped or triangular.
It was five in the evening
Very interesting fight